You work out of a Hotel?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
