do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Randomize
