Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I fill condoms, not promises.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
The struggles of a small town man whore
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
