is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
He is an equal opportunity slut.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
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