So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I want to fling myself into the sun
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
