If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
