Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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