he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
