I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
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