And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
