I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
