have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
