Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
