Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
How external is "for external use only"?
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
