Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
