So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Boobs are out for the taking
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
