If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
