she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
