You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
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