What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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