i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
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