Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
