im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
17 year olds will be the death of me.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
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