He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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