I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Randomize
