I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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