Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
