Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Randomize
