Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
