Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
