my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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