I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize
