Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
