no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Randomize
