haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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