Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
