Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
