he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
