I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
