I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
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