just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
So gin and wine won't be happening again
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
