Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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