Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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