Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize
