Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Randomize
