yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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