he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
We got so high we made milksteak
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I love you. Go after that dick
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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