Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I don't think brook has ever known best
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Randomize
