this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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