just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
this hospital has no fireball
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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